She Could Leave
by JenniFromtheBlock
Summary: Missing scene from 6x05 Owen, a sleeping Cristina, and a hefty dose of Meredith for good measure. Review as you wish.


Owen watched Cristina through the blinds of the window. She lay on Meredith's hospital bed, her head leaning slightly against Mer's shoulder. He couldn't see the expression on her face; they were facing the corner of the room where the television was mounted, but he could see that they were holding hands.

He had been looking for her for close to an hour since he finished the surgery he had taken away from her. He rushed through the operation, doing most of it himself, which was so unlike him. In a normal situation, he would have let the new kid take the lead and protectively supervise the procedure. Today, however, all he could see was the defeated look on Cristina's face, and he sped through the surgery without a thought to the students around him who wanted so desperately to participate.

Cristina hadn't answered his multiple pages, and he wanted to be angry with her, but he couldn't. More so, he was kicking himself for not immediately realizing that she would be right here, seeking solace with her best friend. He ought to know this about her. He ought to know her better. And now, watching her through the window, he hoped he could somehow make this up to her, somehow understand more of how she perceived the world around her. He hadn't intended to ignore her. She was the best resident in the hospital, and he didn't understand how it was possible that she didn't know that. If he could, he would choose her every time, but he couldn't play favorites. Even if she was his favorite. Even if she was his. He hoped she was still his.

He knocked lightly on the door, then opened it and looked in. Mer turned her attention from the movie on TV. Owen opened his mouth to speak, but Meredith quickly put her finger to her lips to quiet him. She pointed at Cristina, and it was then that he realized she was asleep. Meredith picked up the remote and turned off the TV. Owen came around the bed and sat in the chair on Meredith's side. He tilted his head and watched her sleep a deep sleep of exhaustion and sadness. The corners of her mouth had dropped into a frown; she looked so terribly small, and so, so unhappy. He sighed, and sat back in the chair.

Meredith glanced down at Cristina, concerned, and then looked over to Owen. "I'm afraid," she said in a low voice. "I'm afraid she's going to leave."

He shook his head slightly in confusion. Cristina wouldn't leave him, would she? Was what he did really so awful that she would break up with him? He couldn't bear the thought.

"She's not getting what she needs here," Meredith continued. She could tell by the look on Owen's face that he still wasn't comprehending. "Here," she gestured, pointing at the room around her. "Here at the hospital. She's not getting what she needs. She really is the best resident on this staff, and as for the cardio…" Meredith paused, and looked back down at Cristina, sleeping soundly on her shoulder. "I can't believe she made it this long without breaking down."

Owen still wasn't completely sure he understood. "But she's good. She knows she's good. She's great."

"But when was the last time someone told her that? When was the last time someone told her that she'll be a great surgeon? When was the last time someone took the trouble to teach her something new? She lives for cardio. It's what drives her, what makes her get up every morning and try to learn and improve and be a better doctor, a better person. And this hospital is failing her. Dixon couldn't teach her, Hahn refused to teach her, and Burke…" Mer's voice drifted off. Burke was not her story to tell. "Burke is gone." She sighed. "It's not just failing her. It has stripped her of her confidence. Seattle Grace is breaking her. She's not as strong as people think she is. She came here believing this hospital would give her everything, and instead, it has taken almost everything from her."

Owen leaned forward in his chair and watched Cristina sleep. He remembered back to the night he had met her, the night they had first kissed. It was her feistiness and the fight in her that had first attracted him. He hadn't realized till now how those qualities that he loved had been slowly seeping away over time. He thought that any problems they had were all of his own doing, of his own issues and problems, but now he could see that he hadn't been paying close attention, that her flirtatiousness and her quick tongue had masked her vulnerability. He should have seen this. He should have known.

"I'm afraid," Meredith repeated. "I'm afraid she'll leave, go to some hospital far away that can see how brilliant she is, some hospital that values her skill and determination and talent. And why wouldn't she? There's nothing to keep her here." Owen looked up sharply, but she waved away his look of distress. "I don't mean you or me. She would stay here for us. She would stay because she loves us. But would you want that for her? To give up on her dreams because you want her near? She's the best friend I've ever had. It terrifies me to think she would leave me. But how could I stop her? How could I deny her what she deserves?"

She can't leave, he thought. She can't leave me. I'll go with her, wherever she wants to go. I'll go with her if she'll have me. But I can't let her disappear, not now that I've finally got her.

"What do I do?" Owen asked. "I can't lose her. I don't know what I would do without her, either." They sat for a moment, both considering what their lives would be like without Cristina, neither relishing the thought.

"I don't know," she replied, and then smirked. "Know any good cardio docs?"

He gave a sad, half smile, and didn't respond. Meredith moved slightly to readjust herself under Cristina's weight and winced.

"One thing you can do—keep an eye on her. I'm stuck in this bed for three more weeks. She won't come here upset unless she absolutely needs to get away. She'll keep it in. Don't let her."

Owen nodded. He constantly had Cristina in the back of his mind, but he knew now that he had to pay more attention to her emotions. He assumed her strength would always pull her through, but he now understood that she needed to lean on him much as he had relied on her, having spent the last year gathering strength from her constant support and love.

Cristina shifted a bit, and Meredith winced again. Owen reached towards them. "I'll take her home. You should rest," but Meredith put her arm out to stop him.

"Don't wake her. She's fine. I'm okay, really. All I do here is rest. Let her sleep till she wakes. If you're still around, I can page you and you can take her home."

Owen nodded again, and sat back, looking at the two women together. As much as it hurt, he was glad that Cristina had Meredith to trust when she didn't feel she could trust him.

"Would it be okay…I mean, would you mind if I stayed here with you till she wakes up? She was upset with me this afternoon, and I want to be here. For her. I need to be here for her."

Meredith watched the grief as it settled into Owen's expression. He's a good man, she thought. They've had problems, but he does love her. It's so obvious.

"Okay." She pulled the blanket up and tucked it around her as Owen settled further into the armchair. Then she picked up the remote and flipped the TV back on. An old James Bond movie flickered onto the screen, and they watched together in silence, waiting to see what would happen next.


End file.
